How to Survive the Holiday Season
by Whosaidblondescan'tread
Summary: December in the Martinez household has always been chaotic- well, at least since Ella and Max had been born. Watch as Valencia deals with all of the craziness of the holiday season, not to mention her two children. From an Elf on the Shelf to dinner with the relatives, this is how you survive the holiday season. Rated T for future chapters. An update daily for twelve days!
1. How to survive an Elf on the Shelf

_Hey, guys! Random here. _

_Yes, I know that I should be working on my other story... but this was more fun. *shrug* Anyways, this _can_ go along with HTSTZA but it doesn't have to._

_There is one major difference between the two, however; in this story Jeb is Max and Ella's father whereas in HTSTZA, he is not. So, keep that in mind if you read Zombie Apocalypse. _

_Oh, before I forget: This chapter, and story, is dedicated to Porkchop (You know who you are... Hopefully. Did you get amnesia and that's why you haven't replied?). It's been a wonderful two(?) years, and you're probably the only reason I'm writing fics right now and still on this sight. You're my soundboard and always tell me when an idea isn't... spectacular. We'll go with that. Truthfully, I don't know how you put up with me. I wouldn't be able to stand my clingyness for five minutes. I'm pretty sure while writing this I sent you like, five pm's. (None of which you replied to, hence the likeliness to mashed potatoes this dedication has) Writing with you and reading your stuff always make my day, and talking with you for even five minutes can turn my day around- even if other people would think that we're on crack or something. Love ya, girlie!_

_Everyone else: enjoy the chapter! (P.S. I do not own Maximum Ride or anything of the like)_

* * *

_November 27th, 2003_

"Mommy, mommy!" Two little girls- one in a bright pink snow jacket, the other's dark blue- burst into the house, as the bus pulled away from their home and down the leave ridden street.

Valencia Martinez turned towards her daughters, opening her mouth to ask what got them so worked up. Before she could, Max, seven years old at the time, exclaimed, "We need to go to the store, _right now_!"

"Yeah," Her other daughter, Ella, agreed, as Max went to get the woman's coat. Max stood on a stair and put the coat on Valencia's shoulders.

"Why do we have to go to the store?"

"To get an Elf on the Shelf!" Ella said in a 'duh' tone. She unhooked her mother's purse from the coat rack and the two girls started pushing Valencia out the door.

"Iggy told me about them today, mom." Max said, matter of factly. "His family just got theirs at Target yesterday."

"Did they?" Valencia asked dryly, standing outside the car while Ella dug through her purse looking for the car keys.

"Mhm, Iggy says that it doesn't come back from the North Pole until after Thanksgiving, but you have to name it before then so that it can come to life," Max explained.

Ella had found the car keys by then, so the family got into the car. Well, before Max pushed Val into the car and buckled her five year old sister into her booster seat.

"Girls," Valencia said, as Max tried to work the buckle on Ella's seat. "Your father's going to be home in less than an hour and I need to finish making dinner."

Max paused, turning around to face Valencia. Then, with absolute seriousness, she said, "Mom, this is more important than dinner. This is_ life or death_."

"Is it now?"

"Yes! Now will you start the car so we can get back in time for Frosty the Snowman?"

"Young lady-"

"Please, Mommy? Pleeease?!" The two girls chanted together. Valencia rolled her eyes, refusing to look them in the eyes. Ella's bambi eyes and Max's puppy dog face had always been her downfall. Nevertheless, she couldn't give in to something everytime the girls widened their eyes and-

"Fine!" She groaned, as she made the mistake of glancing into the rearview mirror. Turning on the ignition, she backed out of her driveway and turned onto the highway. "So, what do these 'Elf on the Shelf's do, anyway?"

"After Thanksgiving, they come to life and watch you!" Ella said happily. _That doesn't sound creepy at all, _Val thought to herself.

"For Santa Clause. And they move around the house at night, and get into things." Max specified.

"What kind of things?" Valencia asked absentmindedly as she looked for a parking spot.

"Well, JJ said that one time her Elf ate all the cookies that her mom baked!" Ella said, wide eyed.

"And Nudge found her Elf roasting marshmallows over a candle last year." Max supplied.

"Aha!" Val exclaimed as she pulled into a spot somewhat near the front of the store.

Valencia and her daughters got out of their car, walking into the store. Ella and Max ran straight to the Christmas section that had been set up for the season.

"Let's get this one!" Ella shouted, pointing to a female doll. She reached to get it off the shelf just as another hand snaked out and grabbed it. Ella whirled around to see a red haired girl standing behind her, Elf in hand.

"Hey, I saw that first!" Ella whined.

Max came up behind Ella. "Lissa," She hissed.

"So nice to see you, Max!" The other girls said sweetly.

"I believe that my sister had that first," Max ground out.

"You know what they say- finders keepers, losers weepers," Lissa taunted.

"But I found it first!" The five year old said, tears filling her eyes.

Max glanced down the aisle, where her mother was busy talking to another woman.

"I'd tell you to pick on someone your own size, Lissa, but Ella's taller than you. Besides, an Elf isn't going to change the fact that you're permanently on the naughty list," Max said, crossing her arms.

"I am not on the naughty list! I get presents from Santa every year!" The little girl shouted.

"Oh, please. I'm sure your mom gets them and just pretends that they're from Santa so she doesn't have to hear you complaining about how you really got coal."

"Max!" Valencia scolded, overhearing the last comment as she hurried over to the girls.

"Mom, it's not my fault! Lissa stole Ella's Elf!"

The other woman walked over to stand next to Valencia. "Lissa, I've told you before that you can't take other people's things."

"But-"

"Give the Elf back, Lissa. I think that it's time for us to go home," The woman said, pulling Lissa behind her as she headed towards the check out.

"I didn't get an Elf, though!"

"That's probably a good thing. She wouldn't be getting a very good report…" Max muttered to Ella. Ella giggled, tears gone.

Once they got home- the girls arguing about names the whole way back to the house- Valencia picked up the doll, examining it for the first time since the brief glance she had gotten when Lissa had it.

The Elf was dressed in red and white, with big blue eyes painted on and a short brown bob. Earrings were painted on with glitter and a red, felt hat was attached to the plastic head. It's hands were awkwardly sewn together, making it look as if she had permanently clasped her hands in her lap.

She set it down on the kitchen counter as her daughters came into the kitchen. "We've decided on Sugarplum," Max said, with a look that dared her mother to say anything.

"That's… a very nice name," Val finally said.

"Now Sugarplum has to go the North Pole to see Santa, and then, on Thanksgiving, she'll come back to start giving Santa reports!" Ella explained.

As her daughters ran off again-_ to do God knows what,_ she thought- she picked up the Elf and began carrying it up the stairs.

After getting a good look at the thing, Val realized it kind of creeped her out. It's big blue eyes seemed to be following her every move and it's painted on smile was just a bit too crimson red.

She set the thing- _Sugarplum_, she reminded herself. _You can't just keep referring to it as' that thing'_- on the top shelf of her closet, and reached to turn off the light.

Instead, she glanced back to the Elf. As if having a second thought, she turned the doll to face the wall and walked out of the closet, Elf to be forgotten until Thanksgiving.

* * *

_As always, tell me what you think! I love feedback (and reviews)._

_The next chapter will be up tomorrow so that the twelfth chapter can be posted by Christmas. I'm going to be on vacation though, so I won't have regular update times- sorry about that._

_So, for the QOTC:_

_What is your holiday playlist? I've been listening to Christmas music while writing this fic, and I need more songs!_

_Thanks for reading, you guys, and happy holidays. C:_

_-Random :D_


	2. How to survive finding a Christmas tree

_Hey guys! I'm back with chapter two and a cup of tea! Well, the tea is for me, but you guys can have the chapter. _

_Ugh, I had so many tests this week. One for almost all of my classes. And after break, I've got midterms. Sigh. _

_But you probably don't want to hear... read me complain, so Imma stop. Without further ado- Chapter two!_

_Enjoy! (P.S. If you recognize it, it's not mine. Sadly.)_

* * *

_December 5th, 2004_

"_Ella Rosa Martinez!_ You cannot wear flip flops out in the snow!" The woman shouted, chasing her-now six year old- daughter down the hallway, trying to get snow boots onto her feet.

"For Narnia!" Max shouted as she jumped off the middle stair and into the foyer. She had a sheet tied around her neck and held a foam sword in her hand- one that Valencia was regretting getting her daughter.

"I'll save you from the mean dragon, Princess Ella!"The brown haired little girl charged at her mother, sword drawn and Valencia felt a dull tickling sensation in her stomach. The older woman merely raised a brow at her eldest.

Despite Max being the stubbornest person her parents knew, Max immediately gave up the sword and ran upstairs to get dressed as if she had remembered something. Val blamed it on the Elf.

"Okay, Princess Ella, time to get dressed. Don't you want to get a Christmas tree?"

"We're getting a tree?" Ella said incredulously. "Max told me that we were going to the dentist!"

Valencia rolled her eyes at Jeb as her other daughter followed her sister up the stairs. "What are we going to do with them?"

"Apparently, reward them for being monsters," Her husband smiled over at her, where she stood near the door buttoning up her light brown coat.

She was just grabbing her keys as her daughters practically tumbled down the steps, in heavy winter coats and clunky boots.

Her husband got into the drivers side of their minivan, immediately turning the radio to the Christmas station.

_"Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way! Oh what fun it is to ride in a one horse open sleigh, hey!"_ The two little girls in the back seat sang along to the chorus, smiling at each other as their parents drove on through the frost covered streets, arriving at the Christmas tree farm two verses into 'Frosty the Snowman'.

The farm was a bit farther up North than their house, and the ground was covered with a thin layer of glittering, white snow. Rows and rows of evergreens and pines covered a vast majority of the land, the rest being used for crops and a few stands selling food and hand made crafts.

Valencia watched her daughters giggle with glee, running off into the maze like rows of dark green pines. The two parents followed behind at a leisurely stroll, always keeping their children in sight.

The girls came to a sudden stop, standing in front of an enormous tree, awe in their eyes.

"Let's get this one!" Max shouted, as Ella jumped up and down.

_This won't even fit on the roof of our car,_ Valencia thought, with a wary glance to Jeb who was examining the tree with an expression similar to that of their six year old daughter's.

Valencia pretended to look at the card tied to the trees. "Oh, no," She began sorrowfully. "It says that the tree's already been reserved for another family. Guess we'll have to keep looking."

She did her best to look regretful.

As the children began walking down the path, shoulders hunched dejectedly, her husband threw her a look. It seemed to accuse her of crimes punishable by death, but she merely shrugged her shoulders in a 'not my fault' kind of way and followed her daughters, whistling innocently.

Ahead of her, her daughters began randomly pointing at trees, until finally they came to the one Valencia knew was going in her living room before the girls had even pointed to it.

She noted the satisfactory gleam in her husband and children's eyes as she found one of the people that worked at the family owned farm and began paying for the tree. She kept Max and Ella back as the man started to chop it down and her husband carried it back to the car.

"Mommy, let's get hot chocolate!" Ella said excitedly, already running with Max towards a small stand selling hot drinks.

Rolling her eyes, she pulled her wallet back out and followed her daughters. Max and Ella were already standing in line impatiently by the time she got to the booth. After giving a few bills to the cashier- a teenage girl in a santa suit and red apron- her daughters snatched their drinks, greedily plopping marshmallows into the Styrofoam cups.

Val sipped at the chocolatey liquid as Max and Ella gulped theirs down, scorching their tongues. Glancing back to her car, where her husband was struggling with the worker to get the tree on top of the car, Valencia decided to make a quick trip to the petting zoo. Hopefully by then her husband would be done, and she wouldn't have to help with the tree.

Yes, she knew how bad that sounded. No, she did not care.

Max, Ella, and Valencia walked the short distance to the pens the animals were kept in. Inserting a few quarters into a gumball machine like contraption, she filled her hand with corn and handed parts of it to Max and Ella.

The two sprinted into the nearest pen- a chicken coop surrounded by an open wooden fence- and began scattering the corn on the ground. The brave chickens, used to people coming up and feeding them, walked close to the girls and began pecking at the snow.

Ella gave a little shriek, and Valencia's head spun around fast enough to give her whiplash. She saw the six year old backed up against the fence by… a chicken. Val gave a little laugh at the chicken less than a foot away from Ella's foot. The sharp beak was pecking at her snow boots, though only enough to give the girl a scare.

Before she could react, Max was running towards Ella, pelting the chicken with corn seeds. However, this had an effect the opposite the one Max was going for. More chickens crowded around Ella, until Valencia recovered from her laughter enough to shoo them away.

"I think I've had enough of the petting zoo," Ella muttered, and Valencia grabbed the girls' glove clad hands and led them back to the parking lot. Max shot a forlorn and mournful look back at the zoo, causing Val to roll her eyes.

When they got back to the car, Jeb was already waiting for them, heat and Christmas carols on. He sat with a coffee and a box of doughnuts bought from the same stand the girls had gotten their hot chocolates from.

"Finally!" He said, relieved. "I was worried that someone was going to mug me- innocent bystander sitting alone in his car and all."

Val shook her head at him and said, "It's not like you're a full grown man or anything."

"I know- wait. I should be insulted, shouldn't I?" Jeb asked.

"Hurry up and drive, Daddy! I want to show the tree to Sugarplum," Ella said, Max nodding enthusiastically. Both girls crammed their pastry into their mouth, the thin icing covering the treat flaking. As they swallowed the last bit of doughnut and started singing along to 'Last Christmas', Valencia glanced at them through the mirror. Their hands and faces were covered in icing, and Max had managed to get some of the treat into her hair, where it was tied up at the top of her head in a ponytail.

Valencia smiled at her husband. Her car was covered in snow and pine needles, both of her daughters would need baths to get the doughnut off their face, and she still had to decorate the tree; but she wouldn't trade it for the world.

Because, after all, wasn't this what Christmas was about?

* * *

_And end chapter. *bow*_

_You know, the chicken thing really happened to me when I was getting pumpkins one year... I haven't had good experiences with birds. I try to feed them and they try to bite me- it's not a healthy relationship._

_Anyways, the QoTC:_

_Does your family get a real or fake tree? Mine has always gotten a real one; I love the smell and, personally, I think it's more fun picking one out. _

_Well, see- well, not see, persay, you'll only be reading my voice... er, never mind- you guys tomorrow! Thanks for the reviews! (If I got any- after all, I'm pre-writing all the chapters and AN's so I have no idea)_

_-Random :D_


	3. How to survive holiday shopping

_Hola, mis amigos! Haha, I know Spanish! Well, some. My vocabulary's limited..._

_Anywho, I have chapter three for you- but you already knew that, didn't you... hm. Me announcing the chapter is kind of derogatory. I hope that word means what I think it means or else I'll look pretty stupid._

_Ahem._

_Well, enjoy this chapter, guys! Thanks for your lovely reviews! (As I said before, assuming here- which is pretty presumptuous of me, now that I think about it...)_

_Without further ado, chapter three!_

_Enjoy! (P.S. I don't want to be sued. So if by chance James Patterson is reading fanfiction, I am not you and I do not own MR)_

* * *

_December 7th, 2005_

The man watched the Hispanic woman hurry through the shops, list in hand and arms already full of bags, although she had only been in the mall for thirty minutes.

She ducked into the bookstore, then came out a ten minutes later, crossing something off her list and holding yet another plastic bag.

As she neared the Starbucks he was sitting at, he almost stood up, ready to hide out in the bathroom. But instead of coming into the coffee shop, she scurried into the Toys 'R' Us next door, and he abandoned his table and followed her in.

Holiday music played faintly over the speakers, interrupted every once and awhile by an announcement from the mall staff. Small children ran through the aisles of the large toy store, showing packages to their parents, who would politely nod. The bustle of the store was just enough to keep him out of sight of the woman, but near enough not to lose her.

As she turned, glancing over her shoulder, he took a sip of his coffee, pretending to examine a box of legos.

She continued on her way, and he followed from behind. She came to a stop near the nerf guns, rolling her eyes at the list and picking one up. _She must be shopping for Max,_ he thought to himself.

The man knew a lot about Valencia Martinez, the fact that she had two daughters, Max and Ella, was only one of the many things he had picked up over the years. For example, he knew that she used mango scented shampoo, that she worked at a Veterinary office, and that she always had a cup of tea before bed.

He noticed that she was on her way once again, and finished off his coffee, tossing it in the garbage bin before trailing behind her.

_**o.O.o**_

Valencia Martinez picked her way through the toy store, putting the occasional item in her cart. Shopping for her daughters was so much fun, especially during Christmas. Their different tastes meant that she never got two of one thing, and had to go to a variety of stores to find the things on their lists. Honestly, sometimes it felt more like she had a son and a daughter rather than two girls, no matter how bad that sounded.

But she had always loved Christmas shopping especially, feeling that giving gifts and seeing the delight on people's faces was better than any gift she could receive. It was one of the rare time when people accepted gifts without protest, and Christmas time gave her an excuse to spoil her girls rotten. She had even gotten Max a few dresses, although positive that it would be a hassle to get Max into them. Valencia knew that Max secretly liked wearing dresses, though, but always acted like Max was doing _her_ a favor by putting them on.

Once she made it to the register, she quickly paid and was on her way again. This time, she slowly made her way to Macy's the heavy bags in her arms weighing her down.

Reaching the door, she made her way to the customer service desk. A woman in her mid-twenties stood before her, dressed professionally, hair up in a knot.

"Hello, how may I help you?" The younger woman asked.

"Yes, I'm looking for the men's section? I need to buy _a gift for my husband,_" She said the last part louder than the rest, with a smirk on her face. The woman- Christine, her badge said- gave her an odd look.

Valencia was expecting that. She flicked her eyes behind her, giving a minuscule tip of the head towards the man who was pretending to be busy inspecting women's jewelry. The man following her may have known all about her, but she knew a few things about him, too. One of those things being that he was her husband.

Christine gave a small smile and said, "Right this way, ma'am." She led Valencia past the man, who ducked behind a tall shelf of earrings, nearly knocking it over.

Once they reached the men's section, Christine said, "If you're looking for a gift, I think I know the perfect thing to get him." Christine walked over to a round table filled with ties. Ruffling through them for a moment, she finally pulled one from the stack.

"Oh, it's perfect," Valencia said. She took the tie from Christine, examining it thoroughly. "I'll take it."

**_o.O.o_**

Jeb tried to get a closer look at the tie without giving his position away. It had four faces on it, each in a different color shirt and-

No._ No_. It was a Star Trek tie. Valencia knew he hated Star Trek; he was a Jedi all the way. Had been since the moment he saw the first movie.

He heard Valencia say the dreaded words- 'I'll take it'- and must have made some sort of noise of despair, for his wife turned towards him, full blown smirk covering most of her face.

"Uh… Wow, what a coincidence! What are you doing here, Val?" Jeb asked his wife, leaning nonchalantly- he hoped- against the nearest shelf.

His reply was a raised eyebrow and a sarcastic, "I think the better question is what are _you_ doing here?"

Jeb reached behind him, grabbing the first thing he laid hands on. "Oh, just buying some…" He trailed off as he realized he was holding a pile of women's underwear in various Christmas colors.

"Jeb, is there something you're not telling me?" His wife shook her head, exasperated, dropping the facade. She turned back to the sales woman. "Have a nice day, Christine. I've got to introduce my husband to the couch, where he'll be sleeping for the next week."

The woman, who had been standing there with an amused smile on her face, commented, "Oh, I think this qualifies for two weeks, _at least_. Don't you?"

"I like the way you think," Val said with a grin. "Well, this was fun, but my husband is trying to sneak off; he thinks I don't see him- _but I do, Jeb_."

Jeb- who had been creeping away from the racks of underwear- froze, turning around and flashing a sheepish smile.

"Don't think that's getting you anywhere, buddy," Valencia said, dragging him out of the store by his ear.

Once they got back to her car, Jeb said, "Was that really necessary?" He rubbed his ear. "It was embarrassing."

"It was also embarrassing telling the seventy year old woman who tried to tell me I was being stalked that it was just my idiot husband trying to find out what he got for Christmas!"

She started the car, pulling out of the parking space. She directed a glare at Jeb, before turning her eyes back to the road, the whole car ride home spent in a pointed silence, Valencia ignoring every attempt Jeb made at conversation.

**_o.O.o_**

Later that evening, Jeb brushed his teeth and got into his pajamas. He tried getting into his side of the bed, hoping that his wife had forgotten what she said about the sleeping arrangements for the next two weeks. Unfortunately, she hadn't.

She sent him to the living room couch, with only a blanket and pillow, and slept peacefully in their king-sized bed- alone.

* * *

_So, that didn't turn out the exact way I wanted it, but all in all, I like it. You can let me know what YOU think by reviewing! Pretty Please?_

_Oh, and I don't mean any offense to Star Trek fans. I've seen one episode of the thing, but Jeb seemed like he would be a Star Wars fan. You know, the whole- Max, I am your father thing? *shrug*_

_Now for the QoTC:_

_What's your favorite winter drink? I love tea, but I drink that year round, so I'm going to say hot chocolate- from anywhere, really. I want to try making it homemade, though._

_Happy holidays everyone! (I'm not sure it I have been saying Christmas, but some of you may be Jewish or something else. If I have, sorry!)_

_-Random :D_


	4. How to survive baking cookies

_'Elllo! Right now I'm drinking my British tea, pretending to be English, and posting this chapter! (Oh, and you should read this in your best English accent.)_

_So, thanks for the reviews that I got from the last chapter. You guys are the best! (The people who reviewed, that is)_

_Anyways, without further ado, chapter four! (P.S. Okay, JP. How about you get Lissa and Brigid, and I get the flock? No? Oh, well...)_

* * *

_December 9th, 2006_

A thin layer of flour dusted most of Valencia's kitchen. There was an egg in her hair and another one on the refrigerator. Chocolate chips were scattered across the floor, and she felt them crunch underfoot as she accidentally stepped on a few. A big puddle of vanilla was slowly spreading over the counter, and her stand mixer was smoking.

Literally smoking. She heard the fire alarm blaring overhead as the smoke spiraled up to the ceiling. The icing she had been making- her mother's recipe- was now burnt. Instead of a snowy white, it was a dull gray, blackened further towards the edge of the pan.

As Valencia walked past, she turned the burner off, and the pan gave one last sizzle and a bubble floated to the surface, popping before becoming quiet.

Washing her hands, she noted that there was a strange substance in it, unidentifiable even to her. After her hands were clean, she filled the kettle with water, before putting it on the stove.

Once she heard it boiling, she got out a mug- one of the few without anything on or inside of it- and put a tea bag and sugar in it. She poured herself a cup of tea, wondering how to start on the mess. Maybe the counters first, or the dishes- her train of thought was interrupted by something plopping into her tea.

She took a deep breath before glancing into the kettle. There was cookie dough, _in her tea pot_. Val didn't even want to know how it had gotten in there. She dumped her cup of tea into the sink, before sitting down at the table, head in hands.

This was why Max was not allowed to bake.

**o.O.o**

_Two hours previous_

Butter- check.

Brown sugar- check.

Eggs- wait. They were out of eggs. How could they be out of eggs?! She had told Jeb-_ Jeb_.

She knew that her husband had made breakfast this morning, and although she was positive she had told him she was going to need the eggs for cookies, she had the notion that he was the one that used them.

Either that or it was the Elf, which she thought was highly unlikely.

"Jeb!" She shouted. Her husband strolled into the kitchen like nothing was wrong. That is, until he saw her holding an empty egg carton.

"Erm, yes, honey?" The man said, awkwardly.

"If you are going to sign me up to make over two hundred cookies for a charity event at your work, the least you could do is leave me a carton of eggs," the Hispanic woman said, deadly calm.

"Um, I'll go to the store and get some?" The man asked, backing out of the kitchen. Without waiting for a reply, he sprinted out of the kitchen, not wanting to face the wrath of his wife.

Valencia nodded smugly to herself. Then she heard a knock at the front door, and groaned. The last thing she wanted to deal with right now was Christmas carolers.

She walked towards the front door, looking out the peep hole once she reached it. When she saw the woman at the door, she sighed in relief.

Val opened the door to , Max's friend Iggy's mom, who lived just down the block.

"Hey, Val," The other woman said. "I heard about the charity bake sale, and I wanted to help. I'm not very good in the kitchen, but I bought some ingredients." In her hands, was a small box with flour, sugar, and a bright white, styrofoam carton of fresh eggs.

A strawberry blond head peaked out from behind her. Ocean blue eyes stared up at Val.

Max, who had been coming to check who was at the door, shouted, "Iggy!" A smile stretched across the boy's face and Max pulled him inside, excitedly showing him Sugarplum's newest hiding place. The two older women laughed, and Valencia invited Mrs. Griffiths into her home.

Dropping the box off in the kitchen, the two women decided to sit on the back porch for a few minutes. However, they were unaware of the havoc that would occur because of that box in only a few moments.

**o.O.o**

After showing Iggy where Sugarplum was- sitting on the train that drove around their Christmas Tree- the ten year olds decided to get a snack from the kitchen.

Ella was already sitting at the table, doing homework. "Hey, Ella," Iggy said, walking into the kitchen behind Max. Ella only scowled at him, remembering how last time he had been over he had nearly set her hair on fire.

"Iggy, what'd your mom bring in that box?" Max asked, pointing to the box on the counter.

"Oh, just some baking stuff," Iggy said, already stuffing his face with chips.

Max reached up to look inside the box when Ella spoke up. "Mom said not to touch that, Max."

Max gave her a condescending look that all older sisters had mastered by that age. "Mom told you not to touch it, because she knew you'd mess it up. I, on the other hand, am mature and responsible." As she finished her speech, Iggy snorted, chewed up pieces of chip flying across the table.

Max glared at him, haughtily asking, "What's so funny, Iggy?"

"Just the thought of you being mature and responsible. And let's face it; it's probably safer that you don't touch anything in this kitchen."

Although all three of them knew this to be true, Max did her best to look offended. "Fine. We'll just have to make some of these cookies to prove to you that I can cook and that I'm mature."

Iggy's eyes widened. "Er, Max? That's not what I meant. Really, you don't have to prove anything. No- get away from the recipe book, Max- I don't want your house to catch on fire!"

Max shot another glare at him. "Then help me, you idiot!"

"Max, even Iggy couldn't help you cook," Ella said, turning back to her over to the table, Max grabbed Ella's homework and threw it on top of the fridge. At Ella's noise of protest, Max said scathingly, "You get that back once you've tried the amazing cookies I'm going to make and admit that I'm a good cook."

Max opened the book to her mom's chocolate chip cookie recipe. She began cracking eggs into a bowl.

"Max, you're supposed to preheat the oven first. And you start with dry ingredients," Iggy instructed.

"Hey, who's the chef here? That's right, me. And besides, I was going to to do that," Max walked over to the oven turning it on and setting the dial to a random number.

Opening a bag of flour, Max poured some into a measuring cup. "That looks about right."

"Actually, it doesn't-"

"Shut up, Iggy!" Max sighed loudly, a look of long suffering crossing her face. After she had measured the dry ingredients, she poured them into a big bowl, and watched as the contents poofed up in a big mushroom cloud.

"Okay… This says to add two cups chocolate chips. _What?_ That won't be _nearly_ enough," Max said, pouring in the three bags of chocolate chips on the counter.

Iggy, Ella, and Max began putting cookie dough on a sheet. Popping it in the oven, they set the timer and sat down to watch.

Five minutes later, Max declared, "I"m bored. Let's go watch a movie!" The three children raced up the stairs, forgetting all about the cookies in the oven.

**o.O.o**

The two women sitting on the porch were drawn inside by the smoke detector. For a moment they just stood gazing, slack-jawed, at the kitchen. Then Val ran to turn off the oven, which was emitting smoke.

Thirty minutes later, after the Griffiths had left and Max had gotten a stern lecture, Jeb would come home to find his wife sitting at the table, head in hands.

"Um, I got the eggs…"

* * *

_Yes, it took Jeb around two hours to get eggs. XD Anyways, please review? It helps me write faster- which I really need to do since I have to write these all ahead of time._

_Anyways, the QoTC: _

_What is your favorite Christmas/holiday tradition? Mine is that my family always opens one gift on Christmas eve. :)_

_Happy holidays, you guys!_

_-Random :D_


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